these are from my first post if you didn't see the first ones then heres the link.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Agwh9xj7KqZQj5CjnUn9xOAazKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090820090754AAQvbng
first joke.
EVER WONDER
why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
why you don't see the headline "psychic wins the lotto?
why is it that docters call what they do "practice"?
why is lemon juice made with artificials flavor and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
why is the person who invests all your money called a broker? why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? when dog food is new and improved tasting, who tastes it? why didn't know swat those 2 mosquitoes? if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
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after numerous rounds of "we don't know if bin laden is still alive" Osama decided in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game
bush opens the letter and it appears to contain a secret coded message 370HSSV-0773H
bush was baffled, so he typed it out and e-mailed it to colin powell, colin and his aides have no clue either so they send it to the CIA, months went past USA was put on red alert the country was placed in a state of self imposed curfew. So it went to NSA then to MIT, NASHA and to the special secret service. Eventually they asked Britian's MI6 for help. they cabled the white house "tell the president he is looking at the message upside down."
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you are on the bus when you suddenly realize..you need to fart. the music on the bus is really loud, so you time your fart with the beat, after A couple of songs, you start to feel better as you aproach your stop, as you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and looking really angry, that's when you remember, you've been listening to your ipod.
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Two Italian men sit behind a wofunny did you ever wonder jokesmen on a bus, she ingores their conversation at first, but it shocked when she hears this: (strong italian accent)
"Emma comes first, then i come, two A sses, they come together, then i come again den two A sse, they come again i come again and pee twice, den i come once more"
"you pigs" the lady yells, "in this country, we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "hey coola down lady" the man says. I'mma just tellin my friend how to spella mississippi :P
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this one is kind of racist sorry if i offend anyone =/
why do mexicans only cross the border in groups of twos or fours? but never three? because all of the signs posted on the border say no tres' passing :P
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a teacher was teaching lil johhny math in school, Teacher: if i give you 2 rabbits then 2 more and another 2 how many do you have? Johnny: 7
Teacher: no listen again...i give you 2 rabbits another 2 then 2 mote how many do you have? Johhny: 7 Teacher: ok let me ask you this if i have 2 apples and i give you 2 and another 2, how much do you have? Johnny: 6 Teacher: good now if i give you 2 rabbits and 2 more and another 2 how much do you have? Johnny: 7!!! teacher: where the hell you getting 7 from? Johnny: cause i have one at home!!!!
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two men at airport, first man says "i can't find my wife." second says "i can't find mine either. "what does yours look like? 1st man says. "she's 6ft tall, blond, big jugs. long legs, mini skirt, stockings, high heels and boob tube, what's yours look like? 2nd man says " F uck her, we'll look for yours" :P
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ooo man my all time favorite one
a guy a new sports car and starts speeding down the highway. cop tries to pull him over, but the guys keeps going, thinking "he'll never catch me in this car" . after a while, reality sets in and he can't believe he's doing this, so he pulls over. when the cop comes up, he's very angry he tells the guy that he's had a very longfunny did you ever wonder jokes day he is at the end of his shift, and writing up this incident would take another hour, so if the guy can give one good reason why he didn't pull over, he'll let him go. guy thinks a while then says "my wife let me last week for a cop and i thought you were him trying to give her back". cop stifles a laugh and
says "have a nice day"
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whats the difference between a wife and a prositute? onces on contract and the other is pay as you go.
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10 out of 10 plus a gold star for a super star because that's how funny you are ha ha ha ha
haha., these are pretty funny! :D
370HSSV-0773H
LOL!!!
These are funny.
Your really good.
Long list lol. But they are all pretty good! Good job. I liked the Bin Laden one lol.
The Fugs - CIA Man
3:35
good site
Who can kill a general in his bed?
Overthrow dictators if they’re red?
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
Who can buy a government so cheap?
Change a cabinet without a squeak.
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
Who can train guerillas by the dozens?
Send them out to kill their untrained cousins?
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
Who can get a budget that’s so great?
Who will be the 51st state?
Who has got the secretest Service?
The one that makes the other service nervous?
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
Who can take the sugar from its sack,
Pour in LSD and put it back?
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
Who can mine the habas a’Nicaragua?
Out-hit all the hitmen of Chicagua.
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
Who can be so overtly covert?
Sometimes even covertly overt.
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
Who’s the agency well known to God?
The one that copped his staff and copped his rod?
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
AV儿劣AV儿劣*-a man!
CIA Man!
CIA Man!
CIA Man!
CIA Man!
CIA Man!
CIA Man!
C
I
A
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